Today’s Relationships Experiences You Probably Won’t Learn from Your Parents


Social Media Can Make or Break Your Relationship — If You Let It

Our parents dated before the age of Instagram, direct messaging and Facebook Messenger. Before the age of “likes,” “RTs” and emojis. Hell, my mother just started using “LOL” in text messages. Sentences like, “Why’d you like that girl’s photo?” and “Why’d you leave a heart emoji under his pic?” actually exist nowadays, and questions like these and others are leading to arguments and breakups. Not acknowledging relationship statuses and coming up short when it comes to Instagram couple photos complete with mushy captions and loads of hearts, are crimes in today’s love languages, and are looked at as legitimate reasons for nixing a budding (or even long-term) relationship.

You no long have to leave your home (or even your seat) to cheat, as sexy messages and “sexting” can get you in as much trouble as midnight trysts.

The thing about social media is the impersonal nature of it all. Those flirty messages being sent back and forth and the “liking” of sexy photos here and there keep you from making personal connections with people of the opposite sex — you know, the way our parents used to do. It also helps you create the fantasy woman or man who, in your head, has all the qualities that your flesh-and-blood significant other lacks. And this leads to online cheating — which sometimes leads right down the twisted road to physical cheating. So if you’re wanting to connect with your love, do just that: connect. Turn off the computer, put your iPhone on silent and talk.

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Reality Television is Rotting Our Brains (Sorry, Mona)

I reach for the popcorn and sip the tea along with everyone else when these shows are aired, but who can deny that “ratchet reality TV” has skewed the way we see real life? Men like Stevie J (shudder) and Peter Gunz (double shudder) show us that women are more and more willing to accept the foolishness and f*ckery that men come at us with. Whether it’s low self-esteem or we’re just scared of being alone, it’s not looking good. It sometimes seems as though the higher the ratings for “Love & Hip Hop” rise, the lower our morals and standards plummet. This series and others like it have made it commonplace for things like cheating, fist-fighting over a man and other forms of disrespect to be accepted, and, unfortunately, in a lot of cases, expected. We’ve all heard, “All men cheat,” or “Imma fight for mines.” But what are you really fighting for? A man who is going to lie, cheat and mistreat you whenever possible? But for why? Ladies, get it together.

You know what our parents did (not saying all, mind you; I know low self-esteem existed back then, too.)? They left! If they weren’t getting what they needed out of the relationship they were in, they peaced out and didn’t look back. But then again, they didn’t have shows telling them that disgusting behavior was acceptable as par for the course either. Crazy times we live in.

What it’s hopeful that you’re parents did do, though, is instill in you a good sense of self-worth and self-respect. Sometimes it feel as though those are some of the only weapons we have against the force-feeding of inappropriate behavior that we’re faced with every day. If you can maintain and know to expect the best, you might succeed in this world full of smartphones and sometimes-stupid expectations.

Getting Married Fresh Out of School is Virtually a Thing of the Past

Out of all of my closest girlfriends, only one is married. And she and her husband just brought their first child, my beautiful god-daughter, into the world. However, my closest girlfriends are also all doctors, lawyers, accountants, financial and healthcare specialists and the like. They all have at least a master’s degree, and they all are excelling in the fields of their choice. You see, nowadays, it seems as though both men andwomen are focusing more on building successful careers before settling down and raising a family. Before this might’ve been something on a man’s checklist before he decided to pop the question, but now, both sexes seem to want to attain some level of personal success before taking the plunge. Maybe all those songs with the “Independent Woman” theme are really hitting home as we try to have our own before exchanging vows.

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